Tuesday, April 25 at 3:26pm I was scheduled to be on a long awaited flight headed to Madrid.
Today is Friday, April 28 and...I'm still in Atlanta.
What happened, you ask?
Well, life happened.
Business opportunities have come up, things I need to address, ideas I want to launch and as all of those things started converging, something deep down was nudging me, "Dayka, it's not time." And let me tell you, when you love Madrid as much as I do heeding to that voice isn't always easy. The final straw came last Friday, after suddenly finding out from my doctor that I have some gastrointestinal issues which require me to be on a very strict diet. Going to Spain & Morocco while on a diet that keeps me from eating all of the bread, cheese, eggs, rice, & sweets that I want?? It felt like more anxiety than bliss.
So I got up Monday and cancelled my airline ticket, just 21 hours shy of my departure.
But leading up to that dramatic, last minute cancellation, I weighed my options for weeks. Talked about it with a few close friends. My best friend asked me last week, "What are you feeling overwhelmingly led to do?", and I didn't really have a response because there wasn't an "overwhelming" feeling at all. Instead I just heard a quiet but strong voice of encouragement saying, "You know what to do." And I did.
The right thing, for right now, is for me to stay put in Atlanta.
To be clear, I am still moving to Spain....I feel this deep in my spirit. I still feel the pull of Spanish life and am looking forward to the experience of building a new life in a new country very soon.....it's just not gonna happen for me this week. And this decision, of course, has made me think a lot about the ways that I attempt to direct (read: control) my life.
I've been thinking a lot about what it means to Surrender--to be open to the fact that something greater than I can imagine is organizing itself in my favor. Most of the time, even with the best of my intentions, "my plans" are in the way of that greater good, because I'm only considering with what I THINK is possible. Possibilities that are based entirely upon my limited perspective of who I am, where I'm from, what I look like, where I've been, past relationships I've had and more. But the reality is that there are FAR MORE possibilities for me in this world than I can imagine. And I always want to stay open to that truth. For all I know, postponing my trip may just be a happy detour from The Universe that's leading me towards a new opportunity that covers ALL of my expenses, both here and abroad (!!!). Or one that puts me in connection with some amazing people doing international work that I really want to be a part of. Whatever it is, I'm totally open to receiving whatever goodness wants to come my way. In fact, I'm beckoning it forth.
A few people have asked me if I feel embarrassed because I postponed my trip, or if I regretted sharing with the world that I was going.
But I don't.
On the contrary, I'm super proud I put it out there. Proud that bought my ticket and started downsizing my house and researched apartments in my desired neighborhoods and found a co-working space and already had plans to hang out this past Wednesday night. I'm proud that I started walking the walk of what it means to move forward with the intention of building a new life in a new country because these kinda things just don't happen overnight. Big ideas are birthed from tiny little ideas and the only thing required to execute them is that we take one step at a time, again & again. Whether or not "my goal" was obtained is actually neither here nor there, because just doing all of this preparation has changed me. I am better for having done the work.
I've had to remember that not leaving on April 25th doesn't mean that I'm NEVER going, it just means exactly what I'm hearing, which is "Not right now." And sometimes we get those things confused, thinking "no" automatically means "never", when that's hardly the case. It's usually a "you're not ready just yet" or an "I have something better for you". And this is what you have to remember every time it looks like the door is closing in your face--there is something greater for me to know here.
Spain may not have been in the cards for April 2017 but best believe it's still there for me. And so is whatever you may have tried that didn't quite work out how you'd planned the first time around. Detours are ALWAYS the set up for something greater, as long as you remember that everything is here to teach us something. Learn your lessons and keep it moving!
SO MUCH has been going on in my life since January and I can't wait to share it all with you. But until that time comes...you know where to find me. Thanks for being excited for me anyhow.